Yesterday, I taped an episode of Another View. The topic --Family Life and Incarceration. I appeared representing the group Prisoners’ Wives, Girlfriends, and Partners and I was the only member of the panel whose husband was incarcerated.

My purpose for going on the show was to bring awareness to the group and let women like me know there are resources available to them. Well…I didn’t mention the group; nope, not one single time, not one single word. It was my first televised interview and to say I was nervous would be putting it mildly.

It turns out I didn’t have anything to be defensive about. The host was great and asked relevant questions. As I think about my responses, I’m concerned that I came across sounding as inarticulate as one could. I filled negative space with umm and so, as I searched for a coherent thought.  Pretty much, all of my Toastmasters training escaped me with each pause filler.

It is the morning after. I tossed all night with thoughts of how ridiculous I must look and with regrets of not speaking the more intelligible, articulate phrases that didn’t come to mind yesterday. Where were the good words when I needed them? I'm over-analytical, sometimes to my own detriment.

Am I my worst critic? Probably.

Do I wish I could do it over again with my better phrases? Absolutely

Is it time to let it go? Undoubtedly

Another View, Family Life and Incarceration, will air February 26, 2010 at 9PM, on PBS.